May 30, 2009
May is no longer a favorite month of mine. It used to be welcome as the summer was approaching and I liked that. Now, May is a month of losses for me and mine. That makes me sad. I lost my Mom 6 years ago and my nephew 13 days ago. I am sad. I am numb.

And I'm here, via this blog, talking about losing in a different way. I want to lose weight - have always wanted to lose weight, always thought I needed to lose weight when maybe I really didn't.

Perspective is everything, isn't it?

I believe I am an emotionally strong woman. I want to be a physically strong woman. That's my choice and my responsibility. It means that I will have to lose some more things. Perhaps I will have to lose the means that I currently use to cope with sadness, frustration, fatigue and develop new ones. Hmmm…what a concept to consider. I may have to lose the crutch of weight. How have I allowed my weight to hold me back in some areas of my life? I realize that I'm asking a lot of questions and the answers are not here - they are for some future time and blog. They NEED to be answered in order for change to occur. Even WW cannot help me if I'm not paying attention to the 'why' of the food, whether it be quantity or quality. And WW does encourage you to look at the why. I just want to look at it a bit closer. That my friends, will be a continued conversation. Right now? I'm headed to enjoy the fact that May is almost over. That makes me sad to say.